Don't Wanna Be Left Alone Video!!!!!!

Hope you like my new song called Don't Wanna Be Left Alone!!!!!!!! EnJoY :)

*Life Iz A Jurney* ;D

Life Is A Journey! & Don't Wanna Be Left Alone!

          Is life a battlefield, is it a journey, or is it life? What am I saying? I know what life is, I know what life holds in my grasp! Life is a journey! That is the song I wrote long ago when I was 12, but it never came out I thought that maybe someone would take it! This is such a serenity of despair and life... because "life is a journey" Does not matter whether it is right nor' wrong! I have dreams of me dying, crying, being in pain, going insane, wanting to die, or even getting high.......... What is this crap? Is it an awakening in me  saying "Christian when I say jump, jump. When I say die, you die!!!!!" Who is saying these things is it the devil, demons, or is it me. I have many sides yes, but not ones that want me to die. Is that why life is a journey!?!?!?!?!?! You need to understand that maybe you may not be able to go through every single little detail in your pathetic, helpless life..... You need to understand that no matter where you are, you have someone by your side. You want to know who that is....... GOD! You know he will be with you even when your crying, dying, happy, sad, mad, angry at the world, or even when you want to kill yourself. Just know that life is hard and you might not get through it, but just know that he will be there for you. This is life we are talking about after all right ;D!!!!

Life is a journey,

to believe.

It means you must live,

not die.

Do you understand life,
Try being me.
I wish to die, but I know not to,
I cry everyday.
Pain, Hope, Despair, Life, Hate, Love,
A collage of hateful and liking words.
What was I saying...? 

Don't Wanna Be Left Alone- By: Christian Torres

I feel all alone.

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

 Hebrews 13:5

People all around, bodies on the ground............
Don't wanna be left, left in this world alone, crying about that one name on this stone.
Don't wanna cry nor die. Can't feel all alone, cause I'm never on my own.
Got to keep my head held high, to the sky..........
Don't wanna to be left, left in this world alone, with all my scars to be opened and shown.
Don't wanna be ignored all I want is you lord. Can't keep my head down, while I walk through this town.
Got to be brave, got to be strong, this is why I'm singing this song...
(Chorus:) Don't wanna be left, left in this world alone (3x)
Can't walk with dignity...
Even if I plea.
Can't walk with sanity...
Cause I don't feel free.)
Screaming in my ear, makes me feel so dear...
Don't wanna be left, left in this world alone, don't wanna be ignored nor unknown.
Don't wanna scream nor dream. Can't feel so happy, cause I feel so sappy.
Got to walk through this town, this place, with no happy trace...
Don't wanna be left, left in this world alone, like my voice is decreasing by one single tone.
Got to keep my head up, or my life will erupt-------!!!..........
(Chorus:) Don't wanna be left, left in this world alone (3x)
I feel so closed in...
Seeing your pathetic grin.
I feel like one dang sin...
Underneath this skin.)
I feel a closing in living this way, just by the way it looks this won't be my day...
Don't wanna be left, left in this world alone, feeling like my mind will never have grown.
Don't wanna be hurt nor being assert...
(Chorus:) Don't wanna be left, left in this world alone----------(3x)

*Life Iz A Jurney* ;D

I Won't Let Go!

  You feel like crap when someone important to you dies..... well that is how I feel right now!!! My best friend just died a while ago!!!!!! I would never let go of them because I really care about them they died from cancer I just found out.......... I cried hysterically!!! One question for the kids at home... Would you ever let go!?

    You told me to be strong,

That's why I wrote this poem not a song!

I learned to keep my head held high,

Even when I'm about to cry!

You held my hand,

But all I freakin' felt was sand!

You died before my eyes,

Hearing the doctors pathetic lies!

You told me not to worry,
Just to worship GOD's glory!
You knew everything to make me smile,
For a whole mile!
I made it out alive,
Only to know you did not survive!
I cry every night,
Waiting for your light!
Shine down on me,
And don't ever let me be!
I will always love you,
Even if it's the last thing I do!
Just know I won't forget,
Cause I picture you and me watching the sunset!
I Won't Let Go!

*Life Iz Hard* :,C

Sometimes, I Am Cruel!

   Sometimes, I Am Cruel.......

Sometimes, I Am Cruel.......

        This is my life and how I am.... If only there was some way to take it back to the past and change everything! Step into reality Christian, you know you can't do that...... That is when I think I am cruel. Life for me is hard and cruel... as my title says on this piece!

I hear people tell me it everyday, I don't mean it, I don't want to do it, I hate it, I hate myself, I hate my life!

        Sometimes, I Am Cruel.......    

And when I see other people are hurting I do nothing, you do nothing, we do nothing... but GOD does something.. he extends his hands and says " Come my child, I shall take care of you"! I cried when I knew he was with me.

Sometimes, I Am Cruel..... I should know how life is, it is when I try to stand up for myself but I fail in the beginning. I cry out to the sky praying for GOD to help me.

    But should I feel this way?

    Someday I know I will find out who I really am..... but I have no hope in the time being! You have the world looking at you, judging you, hurting you, abusing you, hating you, and verbally raping you. That is how I feel everyday, I feel like they rape my identity and hope. I don’t even know what I even did to deserve this pain. Do you accomplish your every need when you make fun of me. 

    Even your own friends would hurt you. Even I would hurt my friends. Hurt. Pain. Anger. Agony. Backstabber. Insecurities. Flaws. Scars. What does that mean? I am confused....... I take it as being a piece of crap. I can’t guide myself the right way how to take these descriptions, I need help.

    Sometimes, listen up, you need to understand that maybe you will not be able to accomplish your every goal in life so you can make it out of this world.

    After 7th Grade, I knew what I had to do, I knew I had to take things seriously. That now I told everyone who half of myself is... now in high school! I don’t need to even see the people who messed with me! I might be leaving Kannapolis or maybe North Carolina.  There really lucky because I was actually going to do something to get back at them. You hate the world for doing this to you so you get “revenge”! But let me get back on topic! I knew that I had some people who did not hurt me but still the need to understand who the heck I am.... They think that “Who Christian, no Christian is not that kind who would fight, or even do worse........” Flashback time! I was in 2nd grade........ One boy who never liked me always messed with me then one day he went beyond! So I tackled him and started beating him up......... Yeah! You may not believe but I was violent!

    Sometimes, I Am Cruel....... To feel weak, and just now verbally attack someone, and to know that you are more capable than that, like you can just punch someone, and they will be knocked out, instantly. I pray not to be this way, “Please GOD I need your help... I need you to help me....” I ache in fear, and pain but in some cases you need to know that I wanted to understand how life was just to be this so freakin’ cruel.....

    Sometimes, I Am Cruel........ In some cases!

    Sometimes, That Is Life.......... In some cases!


    I have one more thing to say and "no" I am not talking about that one particular thing. I am talking about the people I hang with! I made wrong choices yes, I just got a message from one of my friends who are mad at me and who hate me.... saying that they heard them talking about me and making fun of me calling me names and crap. Good friends I have right!
    I just want that one friend of mine to understand what they mean, what they said to me was a lesson! I feel like crap for what I did, I hope they can forgive me. I understand that I may not be the good friend with "patience" but I am a good friend who will fight to make sure that they will be alright in the end!!! 
  Another friend of mine, whatever I did to make you feel horrible and sad I am terribly sorry!!!!! 

         

*Life Iz A Jurney* ;D